Player 2 no longer needs “Stackhat of Protection”

As I’ve blogged previously, my wife and I are expecting our first baby (aka “Player 3”) in late June.

Of course, being a gamer, I’m approaching this event in a gamer-like manner.

First of all, I read the instructions. This took the form of a few books from the library. But as this game (“birth”) is a genre I haven’t played before, I knew I needed something better than a manual.

I needed a tutorial.

So – last weekend we went on a 2 day course, called “CalmBirth”. Player 1 (my wife) had been told this course was “very good” and it would “probably help Player 2 (me) with his problem”.

Ah yes. Superman has kryptonite. Indiana Jones has snakes.
And I have… tomato sauce.

You see, I got banned by the Blood Bank after 2 attempts at donating. (“Hmm, you look a bit pale Sir, we better just stop now before you faint.”)

And over the past few months, I’ve been a bit worried about the err… bolidy functions aspect of having a baby.
So for some time, my wife has been joking about me wearing The Stackhat of Protection™ in the delivery room. (At least if I hit the floor, I wouldn’t do too much damage).

Thankfully, our “CalmBirth” weekend went well.

We breathed, we visualised, & yes, I survived watching numerous videos. (Including Russian women giving birth at home in the spa, with the 8 year old daughter catching the baby!)
I didn’t even feel too unwell… when placentas were discussed.

So now, it appears that I may not need The Stackhat of Protection after all. I will be the useful & non-fainting companion. My Alyx to wifey’s Gordon. My cat to wifey’s Wizball.

I’m… just not convinced I’ll be picking up the “Scissors” powerup on the day.

PS: For those of you waiting for the “high res 3D” baby photo – we’ll get that at our next scan – ready for uploading here @ J-OMG. 🙂

3 Responses to Player 2 no longer needs “Stackhat of Protection”

  1. Devious Cow says:

    You do know that for a lot of people it’s traditional to eat the placenta don’t you? Some make placenta cake, others keep it and eat it on the first birthday.
    Yum yum!

    The scary thing is, that’s actually true…

    • justonemoregame says:

      Sorry – couldn’t read any of that – I have a special Firefox plugin that replaces certain words with “donut”.
      All I can see is “donut is the donut very donut donut and that means donut donut donut because they donut donut donut donut.”

  2. Rosemary says:

    hah! I’m laughing at the “donut” comment above!

    Yay! I’m not the only person to have the “Hmm, you look a bit pale! We better just stop now before you faint… routine.

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